Wednesday, April 14

early morning walk ~ early morning questions

I left the house early in the day
The sun was struggling to come through the clouds,
with the promise of high temperatures on the way.
I walked southwest from the house -
and came across remnants from our kids treehouse.
Old metal chairs that once were mine - passed on to the kids
And now stand forlorn, worn, rusted, and torn.
My thoughts.... so where did time go? It seems like just yesterday, the treehouse was the hub of activity. How did my babies grow up so quickly!

I walked through the field
My father-in-law's walking stick in hand.
Somehow its not the same without Oreo beside me
as I walk this land
The crunching of leaves -
The promise of spring.
A sound of something close by -
My eyes scour the land and see
Three deer running, jumping the fence, in a hurry to get out of my way.
My thoughts... why is it that when they stand still, you can hardly see them, and yet when they run, their white tails are like flags saying "there I go" What were God's thoughts when he created these beautiful creatures?

I continue to walk.
Dressed in my shorts, my legs are getting scratched by the odd tree
And somehow the land is not so level where the cows have trodden
I continue on - toward the back
The place where my father in law believes a meteor fell ... and left a dip in the land.
The place where especially in Spring, we have a marshland area
The croaking of frogs is loud and clear
But as I get closer the croaking stops
There is not a single peep from them... or should I say, not a single croak!
My thoughts... how does this happen? Is there a KING BULLFROG that somehow lets out a croak to signal "all croaking must stop now, someone is close by". And how does he know that... and why DO they stop. Hmmm...

I continue to walk - stepping over the fence, and making my way through the bush to the path that is easier to follow.
As I walk - I realize how alone I am.
I realize how much company my dog brought to my life.
Even if he was deaf and blind - he walked faithfully by my side.
And weird thing is - when we went out into the bush together - I was never afraid.
I have noticed since Oreo died, that I am nervous as I walk.
Dumb? perhaps.
But none the less - nervous.
My thoughts today... well at least I brought a stick. Could I run if something chased me? And, hmmm.... are bears out already? Perhaps I should carry a bell from now on! Hmm, my friend Lynda would laugh at this one!

I walk along the cleared path through our "forest" and come to an area that I have named "the valley of dry bones"
It is a bit of a fork in the road, a place where there are many old white bones from some of the animals that we killed (when we raised our own beef for food) and the carcasses would be buried in the back forty.
The bones are eerie
They are also intriguing
This morning I thought of the reference to the "dry bones" that the Lord brought to life.
My thoughts.... O Lord, bring life to my dry bones too!

I arrived at the back part of the property - turned east a little walk and then began to head north back towards the house.
I walked through the field.
So brown, so dry.
However some little green shoots are beginning to come up.
My thoughts... the Lord uses this as an example of how WE need to DIE to self, to sin and come ALIVE in Christ! It always amazes me how things can die in fall - and then burst forth in spring! What an amazing creator we have!

Walking back ~ getting closer to the altar that I put up last fall
The altar that stood the test of a Manitoba winter
The altar that stands as a testament to the goodness of our God!
The altar that has stones piled that are also labeled - the one I noticed today - insecurity
And how timely - because I am feeling and working through many "insecurities" lately...
funny how that works.
my thoughts.... Lord, you know all about my insecurities - and how they feel so real to me. You also know what I need - and so I trust in your goodness, your faithfulness and your sovereignty to help me get through these!

Walking back - and looking at the place that Alvin buried our good old faithful dog Oreo
A small mound of earth heaped at the top.
A stone carefully placed
Someone suggested that perhaps the reduction of our pets from 3 to 0 - was God allowed, as only God knows how our transition will go once we sell.
my thoughts.... yes God, you know about the transition. You know about our sale of our house. You know about it all - and I just really want to trust you, but I am feeling so anxious. Lord... enlarge my trust. You have it all under control.

As I walked back - I noticed the sound of the birds again.
So many birds singing!
I noticed the birds at the feeder again..
God knows each sparrow that falls - so WHY am I so anxious about my stuff?
I looked up and saw that the sun was really trying hard to shine through the clouds.
Now as I write this - the weather outside is unbelievable.
My thoughts... gotta get out there and enjoy it!

Enjoy today.
I am.
Blessings to you my friend!

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