thoughts, musings and the odd butterfly?

Well I thought perhaps I should mention why I changed my title of my blog slightly. You may not have even noticed. I added the words "and the odd butterfly" and I KNOW that my kids totally get what I mean!

You see, LATELY they have been laughing at me - because they claim that I "randomly" change the subject, or interject some random comment. And the thing is - I know they are right. It actually is so true! You know, when you do something and KNOW you are doing it!!

I claim that it is part of being in my 50's. Thing is - I used to tease my friend Vi about her personality, because the descriptor of it had to do with her sometimes being distracted by a butterfly flying by! Well - welcome to the life!

My kids laugh and so do I. Thing is, while I know it happens at times - I also explain that I have to say the thoughts as I get opportunity otherwise, like the butterfly, they may just be ...
g-o-n-e!

Being in my 50's has its laughter as well as its not so funny moments! The last two years have changed me - and some of that is not due to my age, but to our journey in loving and grieving.
I am SO NOT the same person. And, that is okay. I am actually coming to appreciate and like the new me - the person who no longer just sits back and gets bullied... or the person who speaks up with my opinion even if someone makes me feel like I have nothing to offer. I am also the one who looks inside myself often and deeply. I realize that I have alot to offer and it is because of who God has made me to be, and what He has gifted me with.

I am in my 50's and realize that I have lost my filters somewhere along the way. Which means that sometimes I will respond (still I believe in kindness and love) and may also not just "think" of challenging someone, but will actually verbalize it if needed.

You see - I think I have spent alot of time just hanging back - and yes, sometimes at the mercy of others, which in retrospect was not always helpful for me, nor for the person getting away with things. So, I have decided to live life fully - to seize the day - to embrace who God has made me to be, and to try to operate and live my life out of the fullness HE gives, and less on my own strength.

And in between there - in those moments, well humor me a little - and let me chase some butterflies!! (which is likely what I just did with this post!) hmmmm....
now where did that butterfly go!

Live fully - and live in the day God has given you - with no regrets! Love you!